Sunday, 8 July 2018

Online stalking made me overthink what I post - but not anymore

I have a friendship with a man.  I know, it’s scandalous isn’t it?  A man and woman having a friendship.


We became friends earlier this year when I reached out and connected with him because he was the subject of online abuse – I observed it getting so out of hand I actually worried for his mental health.
We became friends and for me, it was nice to have someone to chat with about topics that interest us both.  He’s supportive, a good listener, down to earth and we have some things in common.  I’ve basically described there pretty much all of my friends.  I have a few good male friends and I’d count him amongst them.  Unlike most of my friends, however, this man has an online persona and public profile.

He also has - a stalker.  Yes, a follower on the other side of the world who’s in love with him.  She’s so in love with him and it’s so messed up that she routinely stalks and emails his female friends that she’s found on social media to find out whether they’re in a relationship with him.  And I’ve become part of her bullshit routine.

It’s neither pretty nor healthy to behold and I get the impression her loving feelings for him are a bit like this:

And if she lived a little closer it could even lead to this:

A while ago he dealt with her stalking (for his own part) by blocking her on email and every social platform, however, she might be still emailing him nonstop.  Who knows?!  He certainly doesn’t cos he’s chuffing blocked her.

Only trouble is, she’s turned her attentions to me and now I get inappropriate emails from her asking me what’s going on, where I’ve been, what I’ve been doing and who with!

She’s like my Mum but 500 times worse.

Unfortunately, as a result of this, I have severely censored what I post on social media and on my blog BECAUSE OF HER because it’s now clear that she’s stalking me as well as him!

Today after receiving yet another bonkers email from her, I sat down and thought WTF is my response here?  Why am I reacting to this nonsense by stopping posting on my own social media just in case she formulates an opinion about where I’ve been?  That ain’t gonna resolve anything but it's putting me in a silly place of unnecessary worry and overanalysing what I’m posting because of one woman’s odd behaviour.

So after today’s nosey email from her asking me where I’ve been and what I’ve been up to, it’s time to give her an answer.  Here it is:


Oh and what I also want to communicate is that staking is harassment, emotional and psychological abuse.  After the amount of shit I’ve put up with in my adult life at the hands of abusers, IT’S A NO TO ABUSE FROM ME.

“Stalking is unwanted or repeated surveillance by an individual or group towards another person. Stalking behaviors are interrelated to harassment and intimidation and may include following the victim in person or monitoring them.”

After dropping a couple of f bombs in this post, I'm going to try and finish off kindly by giving her the benefit of the doubt that she doesn't understand her behaviour is a crime.  Well it is and if you're reading this, check out this link for victim support all about stalking and harassment.  Everyone needs to be aware that cyber bullying and stalking is not okay.